Looking back

I don’t dwell on sadness from my past really … I have lost some amazing family members over the years … my grandparents, my lovely Auntie Suzanne and my amazing Auntie Grace spring to mind.  I often don’t remember the date that they were taken to heaven BUT I do remember them with joy … I remember the funny things they used to say or do, I remember well the fun we used to have in Ballymena with our wonderful Granda … so many happy memories.  I have been so blessed.

So what is making me think along these lines today? 

Eleven years ago today Mr GG and I lost our first baby through miscarriage.  Little did we know at that time that we were at the start of a roller-coaster.  We lost four babies in total but I can’t dwell on what was lost … in fact, our babies weren’t lost, they were taken straight to heaven where they are safe in the arms of God. 

Over the years Mr GG and I were blessed with three completely amazing, beautiful, funny boys and we wouldn’t change our lot.  Yes, there are times we feel overwhelmed by the responsibility of parenting our children and, especially, parenting children with autism but we are happy … a family.

But … once I year I am transported back to that hospital room and the consultant saying “I’m so sorry …”

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