Love Languages

Apologies for not posting yesterday … I started writing early in the day but Fridays tend to be somewhat chaotic in GG HQ with piano lessons and Boys’ Brigade and whatnot therefore the time to finish and post ran away from me!  Still, I can’t complain … while the Junior GGs were at their various Friday night activities Mr GG and I took the opportunity to dine out … a chippie in the car no less!  Anyway, back to the blog …

Yesterday (Day 5) we were looking at the uniqueness of each of our children.  Although veering slightly off the path, it reminded me of the surprise I had when my second son was born.  I assumed he would be a carbon copy of my eldest son.  How wrong I was … I remember looking at him in hospital (all night, I was too excited to sleep) totally shocked that he looked and acted nothing like his brother … now they are much more alike in looks but, back then, not at all!

So, every single one of us is unique.  The mould was broken after we were born … in some cases I guess that’s no bad thing!  Each one of my children is different.  Two of them are so alike in looks that they tell sometimes folks they’re twins … however the fact there is five years and more than 12” difference in height between them kinda gives it away J.  They all have a family resemblance but personality wise … wow … we have three very different individuals living in our house.  Three boys who react in different ways, are treated in different ways and have very distinct personalities.  Three boys who have different interests, different gifts and their own unique way of looking at things!

We were reminded today that as well as being individuals each of our children relates to us in different ways.  They feel love in different ways.  Some children feel loved and valued by gifts, others by affection, others by praise etc.  When the oldest Junior GG was young I remember struggling with his behaviour (at that time we didn’t realise he was autistic although I had my suspicions) and in desperation turned to a book called “The Five Love Languages of Children” by Gary D Chapman and Ross Campbell.  This was a real help to me, so much so that just recently I bought a copy of “The Five Love Languages of Teenagers” (by Gary D Chapman) – I can’t let myself forget that the teenage years have nearly arrived in GG HQ (officially we have 12 months to go … eek!).

The dare for Day 5 was to consider the way each child feels love, taking into account their individual personalities.  I found this the hardest dare so far as I don’t believe my sons have any one set way of giving and receiving love … my opinion is that their needs change according to the situation.  Some days a positive encouragement may be enough, another day a hug does the trick, another day quality time is what it takes.  Mr GG and I considered the dare together for a long time last night and I honestly don’t believe that I can say I have completed it!  I haven’t pinpointed one “love language” for each of the boys so, in essence, the dare remains outstanding.  However, I don’t feel downhearted, I don’t feel like I have failed … instead I feel reassured that I’m constantly assessing the needs of my children and striving to display love in the way that is appropriate and most effective in the moment.  I think I feel almost pleased to say I’ve not completed Dare 5!

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